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Anastasia de Monte MoD Scroll

Master Donovan contacted me privately and said he had a chunk of period text he wanted to turn into a peerage scroll, but he didn’t know where to start, and could I help him figure it out? He failed to mention who the scroll was for or which peerage, so I went into this one blind.  I didn’t find out until it was read in court, nor that I got partial credit for composition until that time. So if you wanted to know what I think about and how I think about it when I tackle a period text, below is an example.

The Text is from the Wiktenauer translation of Capo Ferro. He wanted to use the Leoni translation, but Wiktenauer is what he had access to.

It is not my intention to hold you at bay with pompous and splendid words, in the recommending to you of the profession of arms that I practice. It is extolled in the due order of its merit, for which it is greatly prized and honored, and always praised, and the greatness and valor are commended of those who worthily carry the sword at their side; among whom today shines gloriously the Most Illustrious Signor SILVIO Piccolomini, Grand Prior of the Religion of the Knights of Saint Stephen in Pisa, and General of the Artillery and Master of Chamber of S.A.S. because not only is he endowed with full and marvelous advantage of that of the sword, but also of every other chivalric art, as his heroic actions by the same, to the wonder of all, clearly make manifest. But to turn to the sword, I say it is the noblest weapon above all others, in whose handling the majority of the industry of the art of fencing is honorably employed; therefore according to my judgment, the carrying of arms does not alone constitute the entire work, and that is not what makes the essential difference between a completely valorous man, and a vile and cowardly one, but as well the profession that someone practices to know how to employ them valorously in legitimate defense of himself and of his homeland, which no one truly can do with honor, if he has not first humbled himself, and placed himself under the law and rules of the discipline of fencing. Which, in the manner of sharpened flint, and honing valor, reduces him to the apex of his true perfection. The reason being that this science is laudable and so overly precious, that rather it would be a hopeless work to want to undertake the task of recounting all of its excellence; I do not believe that any rebuke must fall upon me, because I have set myself to press it into terms of undoubtedly brief, infallible, and well ordered precepts, avoiding as much as possible the blind and dark confusions, the deceitful and fallacious uncertainties, and burdensome and ambitious long-windedness. Now, even as through recognition of my weak faculties, I do not presume to have the joy of success of the full response to the fervor of my most ardent desire, so am I assured that my sincere and cordial labor has not turned out to be accomplished in vain, deferring such to comparison to those who dealt with the same topic before me. Considering that such thing relied upon the virtue of that by whose favor all graces descend unto us, I hope fervently, by these more faithful instructions of mine that may serve no less useful and delightful to you than showy ones, for a small particle of that sweet display of the true glory, that it pleases the graceful spirits always to courteously offer to one who with sincerity of heart goes perpetually laboring in their honored services.

A lovely text, if very long for a scribe, but it still needs the following things to turn it into a scroll:
An opening: We, the King and Queen of the East Kingdom etc.
The Candidate's name.
The use of the capo ferro words explain why they are getting what they are getting, so we don’t need that.
The name of the award
If it is a peerage, we would need to include the rights the candidates get with it
A reference to their arms if they have some. By the time someone is being made a peer they usually do, but not always.
A closing: "Done this day"/Location/ date, etc.

With that in mind, I started breaking it down for that purpose.  I did not know how many words the scribe had limited Donovan to, so I made some optional sections.  They could be included, or not, depending on how much space the calligrapher had to work with and how much they wanted to blow out their wrist.

Thus Speak Brennan and Caoilfhionn Emperor and Empress of the Empire of the East: It is not Our intention to hold you at bay with pompous and splendid words, in the recommending to you of the profession of arms.  It is extolled in the due order of its merit, for which it is greatly prized and honored, and the greatness and valor are commended of those who worthily carry the sword at their side; among whom today shines gloriously the Most Illustrious NAME GOES HERE. because not only is(are) (s)he/they endowed with full and marvelous advantage of that of the sword, but also of every other chivalric art, as his/her/their heroic actions by the same, to the wonder of all, clearly make manifest.
[But to turn to the sword, it is the noblest weapon above all others, in whose handling the majority of the industry of the art of fencing is honorably employed; therefore according to Our judgment, the carrying of arms does not alone constitute the entire work, and that is not what makes the essential difference between a completely valorous man/woman/person, and a vile and cowardly one, but as well the profession that someone practices to know how to employ them valorously in legitimate defense of himself/her/themselves and of his/her/their homeland, which no one truly can do with honor, if they have not first humbled themselves, and placed themselves under the law and rules of the discipline of fencing. Which, in the manner of sharpened flint, and honing valor, reduces them to the apex of their true perfection. ] Optional Section. Can be taken out.
[The reason being that this science is laudable and so overly precious, that rather it would be a hopeless work to want to undertake the task of recounting all of its excellence; We do not believe that any rebuke must fall upon Us, because I have set myself to press it into terms of undoubtedly brief, infallible, and well ordered precepts, avoiding as much as possible the blind and dark confusions, the deceitful and fallacious uncertainties, and burdensome and ambitious long-windedness.] Optional Section. Can be taken out.
Now, even as through recognition of my weak faculties, I do not presume to have the joy of success of the full response to the fervor of my most ardent desire, so am I assured that my sincere and cordial labor has not turned out to be accomplished in vain, deferring such to comparison to those who dealt with the same topic before me.
[Considering that such thing relied upon the virtue of that by whose favor all graces descend unto us, I hope fervently, by these more faithful instructions of mine that may serve no less useful and delightful to you than showy ones, for a small particle of that sweet display of the true glory, that it pleases the graceful spirits always to courteously offer to one who with sincerity of heart goes perpetually laboring in their honored services.]  Optional Section. Can be taken out.
Thus do we, Brennan and Caoilfhionn, (by Letters Patent), induct NAME GOES HERE into their ORDER NAME GOES HERE
(RIGHTS THE ORDER CARRIES IF ANY)
Done this Day, Anno Societatus 53 in the NAME OF LOCATION HERE

And then Donovan did some tweaking I was not in the loop for, but the the final text looks like this:

Brennan and Caoilfhionn, Emperor and Empress, to all persons who see or hear these words, greetings: It is not Our intention to hold you at bay with pompous and splendid words, in the recommending to you of the profession of arms. It is extolled in the due order of its merit, for which it is greatly prized and honored, and the greatness and valor are commended of those who worthily carry the sword at their side; among whom today shines gloriously the Most Illustrious Anastasia da Monte, because not only is she endowed with full and marvelous advantage of that of the sword, but also of other worthy arts, as her heroic actions by the same, to the wonder of all, clearly make manifest.
But to turn to the sword, it is the noblest weapon above all others, in whose handling the majority of the industry of the art of fencing is honorably employed; therefore according to Our judgment, the carrying of arms does not alone constitute the entire work, and that is not what makes the essential difference between a completely valorous woman, and a vile and cowardly one, but as well the profession that someone practices to know how to employ them valorously in legitimate defense of herself and of her homeland, which no one truly can do with honor, if they have not first humbled themselves, and placed themselves under the law and rules of the discipline of fencing. Which, in the manner of sharpened flint, and honing valor, reduces them to the apex of their true perfection.
Considering that such thing relied upon the virtue of that by whose favor all graces descend unto us, it pleases the graceful spirits always to honor one who with sincerity of heart goes perpetually laboring in their honored services.
Thus do We, of our special grace, certain science and merest motion, invest and endow the said Anastasia with the Order of Defense, to have and hold this honor today and hereafter freely, fully and in perpetuity, and do further invest and endow her with Arms by Letters Patent in the form following: Purpure, on a pale wavy argent a lizard tergiant vert.
Done September 8, in the fifty-third year of the Society, in Settmour Swamp.

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